Emergency Board Meeting of Tim Inc. In Progress

CEO: Ok.  Who wants to explain what happened here?

VP of Left Hand Operations: We were holding coffee sir.  Temperature was normal, sipping was steady, but then…we received a request.  

VP of Right Hand Operations:  It was a perfectly legitimate request!  There was a YouTube video!  Imbedded in a blog post.  We were holding the iPad per our instructions, but we couldn’t reach the play button.  

CEO: You can’t reach the middle of an iPad screen with the thumb?

VP of RHO: No.

VP of LHO: That is true sir.  The hands are definitely below average in size. 

CEO: Ok.  So the play button was spotted, then what happened?

Head of LHO: Our staff got a little excited.  iPad usage is almost entirely a right-handed area.  So we responded as quickly as possible. 

CEO: While holding coffee?

VP of LHO: While holding coffee.

CEO: (sighs) How big was the spill?

VP of LHO: Total sir.  In our excitement, the left hand seems to have turned the coffee cup completely sideways, pouring the better part of a cup of coffee everywhere. 

CEO: Did we get the coffee cleaned up?

VP of LHO: No sir.  For some reason emergency operations thought it would be best to dance around with wet jeans for a few seconds, fall down, and then swear at an empty room; which had no effect whatsoever, except to scare the dog.  

CEO: How is the dog?

VP of RHO: Pretty rattled sir.  I’d like to send a team to scratch her belly immediately.

CEO: Agreed. We just need to keep this quiet.  I want the spill cleaned, pants changed, and a new cup of coffee ASAP.  

VP of LHO:  Yessir.  The couch is brown, so the threat of repercussions from the Wife is minimal.  

CEO: Excellent.  Who else knows about this?

VP of RHO: Well…the guys down in self-deprecation were in the elevator with me when I got the call, and I might have told them-

CEO: Dammit.