CEO: Ok. Who wants to explain what happened here?
VP of Left Hand Operations: We were holding coffee sir. Temperature was normal, sipping was steady, but then…we received a request.
VP of Right Hand Operations: It was a perfectly legitimate request! There was a YouTube video! Imbedded in a blog post. We were holding the iPad per our instructions, but we couldn’t reach the play button.
CEO: You can’t reach the middle of an iPad screen with the thumb?
VP of RHO: No.
VP of LHO: That is true sir. The hands are definitely below average in size.
CEO: Ok. So the play button was spotted, then what happened?
Head of LHO: Our staff got a little excited. iPad usage is almost entirely a right-handed area. So we responded as quickly as possible.
CEO: While holding coffee?
VP of LHO: While holding coffee.
CEO: (sighs) How big was the spill?
VP of LHO: Total sir. In our excitement, the left hand seems to have turned the coffee cup completely sideways, pouring the better part of a cup of coffee everywhere.
CEO: Did we get the coffee cleaned up?
VP of LHO: No sir. For some reason emergency operations thought it would be best to dance around with wet jeans for a few seconds, fall down, and then swear at an empty room; which had no effect whatsoever, except to scare the dog.
CEO: How is the dog?
VP of RHO: Pretty rattled sir. I’d like to send a team to scratch her belly immediately.
CEO: Agreed. We just need to keep this quiet. I want the spill cleaned, pants changed, and a new cup of coffee ASAP.
VP of LHO: Yessir. The couch is brown, so the threat of repercussions from the Wife is minimal.
CEO: Excellent. Who else knows about this?
VP of RHO: Well…the guys down in self-deprecation were in the elevator with me when I got the call, and I might have told them-