CEO: When I left work last night you told me one beer.
VP of Impulse Control: Yes.
CEO: One. Now, at the time I knew that was unrealistic. I knew we would end up in a two to four beer situation.
VP of IC: I really thought we could keep it to one beer.
CEO: (sighs) I admire your optimism. Walk me through what happened.
VP of IC: We left the house firmly behind the one beer principle.
CEO: Hang on. (skims report on his desk) it says here he had a beer with dinner, before leaving the house.
VP of IC: That was offered to him by a house guest, who brought the beer to a dinner party. Social convention dictates he had to drink that beer.
VP of IC: So we get to the baseball game, order a beer and sit down. Everything is fine, until this beer pusher comes up and forces another beer into our hands!
CEO: (still reading from the report) it says here she asked if you "wanted another one of those"
VP of IC: (Nodding) Yeah. All pushy...and, and ready to get us more beer.
CEO: Alright. A few beers doesn't add up to all these extra calories.
VP of IC: I also approved a request from the 11th floor.
CEO: You approved a request from the Portion of Tim's Brain that is Still Eleven Years Old?! At a baseball game?!
VP of IC: There was ice cream.
CEO: Good god. How much?
VP of IC: We ordered one cone for us, and one for The Wife. But when we got back to our seat, she didn't want hers, so we had to eat both.
CEO: Define "had to."
VP of IC: We can't throw away ice cream. I'm fairly certain the corporate bylaws don't allow it.
CEO: How large were the ice cream cones?
VP of IC: Massive, sir.
CEO: Of course. Well, we can try and make it up with spinach smoothies and exercise on Saturday and Sunday.
VP of IC: I don't think so, sir.
CEO: Why not?
VP of IC: There is a wedding on the schedule tonight. Preliminary reports indicate there will be cake and an open bar. I won't be able to-
CEO: Get out.