(Knock at the door)
Senior Vice President of Memories & Flashbacks: What do you need?
Assistant: I've got some files that I flagged to clear up some space. You mind if I run them by you?
SVP of M&F: Hit me.
Assistant: Keep in mind, you HAVE to delete some of these.
SVP of M&F: Are you implying I save unnecessary things?
Assistant: No. I am sure that season of The Bachelorette is really critical.
SVP of M&F: Hey. Those were lovely evenings with the mother-in-law. There were margaritas. And bonding. Plus he picked JP to win the whole thing in Week 2. That was borderline clairvoyant.
SVP of M&F: Go ahead. Try me.
Assistant: Quadratic equations?
SVP of M&F: Pitch it. Done.
Assistant: Parts of the cell?
SVP of M&F: Keep. File under Random Facts You Don’t Need but For Some Reason Can’t Forget.
Assistant: What? Whyyyyy?
SVP of M&F: Because the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell and Ms. Frizzle shall never be forsaken.
Assistant: …ok… Every line of Ocean’s 11?
SVP of M&F: Keep it.
Assistant: Come on.
SVP of M&F: We’ve never been to Vegas. Without that movie on file he would quote The Hangover the ENTIRE time.
Assistant: Fine. Working knowledge of Emma Stone’s upcoming movies?
SVP of M&F: Keep.
Assistant: Lyrics to the Dirty Dancing soundtrack?
SVP of M&F: Not a chance.
Assistant: Dog poop sighting from this morning?
SVP of M&F: Delete it. Boom. Trimming the fat.
Assistant: Yeah, you’re merciless. (hits delete key, computer BEEPS) It won’t let me delete. There’s a hold from another department, uh, Spousal Management & Marital Bliss. Huh. (grabs phone, calls SM&MB) Hello? This is Memories & Flashbacks. I have a file I can’t delete. There’s a hold from your department. Must be a mistake. It’s a mental image of how much the dog pooped this morning.
Paul in Spousal Management & Marital Bliss: Yeah, you gotta keep that.
Assistant: (sighs) For the love of all things pure. Why?
Paul: The dog threw up last night.
Paul: So The Wife is going to ask whether or not the dog pooped.
Assistant: Can’t I just condense this to a yes or no file?
Paul: No. There will probably be some follow-up questions as to texture and color.
Assistant: You’re messing with me.
Paul: I wish I were.
Assistant: I’m supposed to be clearing space up here!
Paul: Can’t help ya.
Assistant: Fine. (hangs up, to SVP) We have to keep it.
SVP of M&F: That doesn’t count.
Assistant: Agreed. Let’s see…rewritten versions of the Matrix sequels? Bear in mind these exist only in his head and were created to give a sense of coherence and depth to the trilogy.
SVP of M&F: Keep ‘em.
SVP of M&F: Yes. File under Long Stories to Tell Strangers at Parties When You’ve Had Two or More Drinks.
Assistant: Rewritten versions of the Pirates of the Caribbean Sequels?
SVP of M&F: Same.
Assistant: What about the vague desire to actually watch the fourth Pirates of the Caribbean movie?
SVP of M&F: Delete.
Assistant: Technical specifications of all recently released Apple products?
SVP of M&F: Crap. Budget & Finance wants them deleted to reduce “gadget lust” but Impulse Control wants them on hand…what do you think?
Assistant: Justification & White Lies said they’d need the specs to file their report in the event of a purchase.
SVP of M&F: That makes sense. Keep ‘em.
Assistant: Sibling wedding anniversary dates?
SVP of M&F: The Wife has those memorized. Delete.
Assistant: Muppet Babies?
SVP of M&F: Specific episodes or the theme song?
SVP of M&F: Keep.
Assistant: (hopefully) Theme song?
SVP of M&F: (thinks) Keep.