Glossary

  • Triple Crown: A period of time during the day, no matter how brief, in which The Twins and The Wife are asleep.  
  1. It took three Triple Crowns to finish Avengers: Age of Ultron
  2. This site is largely dependent on the semi-regular occurrence of Triple Crowns. 
  • Shooting the Moon: An instance where a parent volunteers to change The Twins diapers, and neither diaper is poopy.
  1. I volunteered to change both diapers at halftime as a show of good faith.  Luckily I Shot the Moon and made it back before the start of the 3rd quarter.
  2. My hands have been shat on so many times I really feel like I'm due to Shoot the Moon.
  • Baby Burnt: Any food item that is overcooked or straight up carbonized due to the cook becoming distracted by a baby.
  1. These candies walnuts got a little Baby Burnt and taste like tiny lava rocks.
  2. Good thing our new microwave has a fancy bacon setting, otherwise I'd Baby Burn the crap out of this bacon on the griddle.
  • Pacifier Sniping: The act of removing a pacifier (AKA "bink") from a sleeping baby's mouth without waking the baby.
  1. It's been 30 minutes.  Sneak back in there and snipe the pacifiers.
  2. You have to snipe the binks or they'll wake up when it falls out of their mouth.

Company Information

  • FOR INVESTORS:

Twincorporated is a vibrant new company at home in both the legacy media and social media sectors.  Although not a "startup" in the traditional sense due to lack of employees and funding, Twincorporated is poised to succeed in a number of existing and emerging markets. 

  • tim inc.

Twincorporated was originally founded as Tim Inc. in 2013.  Twincorp acquired Tim Inc. in a hostile takeover on October 6th, 2015. Tim Inc. records can be found below.

About the author

Timothy J. Malm is a career-less vagabond who has been declined employment due to personality suitability tests at Farmers Insurance, AT&T, and Outback Steakhouse.  He has been a lawyer, restauranteur, paperboy, and bean-picker.  The longest running job Tim has ever held was a five-year stint at Dairy Queen; yet he stridently maintains he could do almost any job better than most people. The memos and correspondence from Twincorporated are not only thoughts Tim has had, but likely were spoken aloud to no one in particular while showering, walking the dog, or grocery shopping.

 

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