From: The Twins
To: Chief of Fatherhood, Chief of Motherhood
Subject: Games After Hours
According to a review of security footage, after we go to sleep the two of you have been cavorting around the office, playing board games, drinking alcohol, and generally living it up.
While it is good that you blow off a little steam, We would like to set some parameters for these after hours liasions, specifically regarding Yahtzee. Yahtzee is a mine field of annoyance and should not be undertaken lightly. If it is to be played, the dice cup should not be used. The dice rattle around in the cup quite raucously, and as we all found out last night, we can hear the rattling sound from our office.
Once the dice have been sufficiently shaken (by hand) they should be rolled on to a towel. It takes a lot of effort to finish a bottle, spit up, cry, take turns pretending to fall asleep, poop ourselves, spit up on the changing table, cry, and fall asleep. We will not have our hard work jeopardized by the sound of dice hitting a table just so you can take your accidental large straight for 40 points and call it “strategy.”
Should either of these happen again, we will have no choice but to escalate our punishment. As per usual we will both cry as if pinched and spastically kick our legs. Additionally:
- Girl Twin will do that thing where she cries so hard her face turns red and you wonder if she can breathe.
- Boy Twin will rage vomit any vestiges of his previous bottle that he can muster.
Note: All games involving dice should follow similar precautions.
Thank you for your work on this issue.