Skepticism, Breakfast, & Daylight Savings Time


Before Sunrise.


Girl Twin: Hey! Wake up. 

The Chief of Fatherhood: (walks into Girl Twin’s nursery) What is it?

Boy Twin: (walks into Girl Twin’s nursery) It’s 5:45, Breakfast time!

The Chief of Fatherhood: How did you get out of your crib?

Boy Twin: (smiles)

The Chief of Fatherhood: It’s 4:45. It’s Daylight Savings Time. 

Girl Twin: The clock says 5:45.

The Chief of Fatherhood: The clock is wrong.

(Both of The Twins eye The Chief of Fatherhood with suspicion)

Boy Twin: Whaddya mean “the clock is wrong” ?

Girl Twin: (pointing at the clock on the wall) It’s a clock. It tells us when breakfast is. 

The Chief of Fatherhood: Yeah. Sure. But I have to reset the clock so that it’s on the correct time. Once a year the clocks move back an hour.

Boy Twin: That’s convenient.

Girl Twin: (eyes narrow) You just want to go back to sleep. 

The Chief of Fatherhood: I do, but Daylight Savings Time is real.

Boy Twin: You’re telling us, we can either believe that time moved backward one hour whilst we slept, or that you’re lying to us, just to sleep?

Girl Twin: Definitely the sleep thing. 

The Chief of Fatherhood: Well time didn’t move backward. The way we tell time using clocks is just how we keep track of time as a society. It’s based around the Earth’s rotation. 

Girl Twin: (eyes wide) NOW YOU’RE CLAIMING TIME ISN’T REAL?!

Boy Twin: (shakes head) If you want to go back to bed, just say so. 

The Chief of Fatherhood: No, time is real. But what hour it is depends on what time zone you’re in, and the way we tell time is out of convenience based on the sunrise. Like if we called Uncle Dan right now, it would only be 2:45, since he’s in a different time zone. 

Girl Twin: (nodding sarcastically) MmmmmHmmmm. And tell me more about these “time zones.”

The Chief of Fatherhood: The world is divided into sections and each section is in it’s own time zone that is an hour before or behind the zone next to it.

Girl Twin: (to Boy Twin) Ok, he really might need to lie down. 

Boy Twin: (disgusted) No. It’s 5:45.

The Chief of Fatherhood: It’s—

Boy Twin: Everywhere. It’s 5:45 everywhere. And everyone is eating breakfast right now. Except us. Because you’re being mean. 

The Chief of Fatherhood: (the deepest of sighs) You’re right. I’m sorry. Let’s go eat.