From the desk of the senior vice president of operations and logistics
To: All Staff
From: SVP of Ops and Lgstcs
Subject: Private Documents in the Public Domain
I would like to inform you all that the private digital journal service used by our executive team has been compromised. The private journal entries for yesterday have been made public. I of course advise you to not read them, as it would be a vicious violation of privacy.
Since I know that is unlikely, I advise that you keep the contents to yourselves to avoid any interdepartmental consternation.
Boy Twin, Digital Journal, 3/29/1016
My feet are my favorite toy. I don’t know why The Chief of Fatherhood keeps handing me stuffed animals and rattles. They just get in the way of my feet. I feel like there is a series of crucial misunderstandings between the two of us.
For instance, yesterday he got all misty when he kissed my cheek and I giggled at him. I am worried he took this as a heartfelt gesture. I was really just enjoying a good poop.
Also, The Chief of Motherhood told me I was her favorite today. Not sure how to break this news to Girl Twin
Girl Twin, Digital Journal, 3/29/1016
Boy Twin is my favorite toy. He makes the best noises when I kick him. Or when I put all of my fingers in his mouth. If I had to pick a second favorite toy, it would be laundry mountain. Anything labeled “toy” is a distant third.
Solid food trials continue. I must confess, I don’t actually eat any of the food. I just smear it all over my face with my tongue until a rice-cereal/breastmilk veneer covers my cheeks, lips, and chin. The general assumption is surely some of the food must have been swallowed. This assumption is wrong.
Also, The Chief of Motherhood told me I was her favorite today. Excited to tell Boy Twin and shatter his whole world.
Chief of Motherhood, Digital Journal, 3/29/1016
There’s a Chopped marathon on tonight. I hope The Chief of Fatherhood just wants to watch that and have dinner.
Also, I’m really enjoying the book You’re All My Favorites. It’s about a family of bears with three little cubs, and the parents tell each baby bear how special they are, and that they are all favorites. The Twins seem to like it too.
***UPDATE*** You can get the book here. It is quite adorable.