From the desk of the senior vice president of operations and logistics
To: All Staff
From: SVP of Ops and Lgstcs
Subject: Overnight Operations
I would like to address some missteps that occurred during The Twin’s recent overnight outing.
The packing situation could best be described as haphazard. It is my understanding that the Chief of Fatherhood was left to pack a bag for The Twins while The Chief of Motherhood attended a bridal shower. And to his credit enough diapers, clothes, bibs, and burp rags were packed to see the The Twins through the weekend. However, The Chief of Fatherhood neglected to pack any clothes or toiletries for himself, leaving The Chief of Motherhood to hurriedly smash random t-shirts and a pair of underwear into a plastic grocery bag as the management team left headquarters.
Additionally, the supplies put together were lacking in bottles and books.
The Chief of Fatherhood’s assertion that there are only two babies, ergo two bottles is sufficient, is technically accurate. Washing the bottles after every feeding does in fact get the job done. However, the fact that The Twins eat every three hours should have probably lead to the packing of at least four bottles. Ideally six.
No books of any kind were packed. While The Twins literacy remains questionable at best, their need to have a story read to them at bedtime is well established. The Chief of Motherhood is applauded for her attempt to recreate several children’s books from memory, but a minimum of two books should be packed in the future.
All told, The Twins were properly fed, diapered, and kept in good health throughout the weekend, but there is clear room for improvement.
There will be a 7:00 AM strategy meeting on Monday for all Senior Executives to discuss best practices going forward.
SVP of Ops and Lgstcs