From: Girl Twin
Cc: Boy Twin
Subject: Pacifier removal, Crib invasion
To whom it may concern:
I would like to report that since last week my sleep has been disturbed by someone or something stealing my pacifier. Last night I finally saw it/them: a pair of filthy meat hooks with five barbs each descended from the heavens and stole my pacifier. Moments later the pacifier was returned. Only to be stolen again! This pattern repeated itself for what felt like hours until I fell asleep. I would like this researched immediately.
From: Boy Twin
Cc: Girl Twin
Subject: Re: Pacifier removal, Crib invasion
I had a similar experience! Last night two tentacles, presumably alien, invaded my field of vision as I was trying to fall asleep. I bit one of them, and pulled off its skin! Only to discover that I had merely removed its tubular clothing. I attempted to destroy the clothing with my mouth to assert dominance. Unsure if this was clear to the tentacle.
To: SVP of Ops and Lgstcs
Subject: FWD: RE: Pacifier removal, Crib invasion
Sir, it appears Girl Twin has been repeatedly pulling her own pacifier out of her mouth during nap time, but believes the pacifier to be stolen by a third party, as she is only loosely aware that she has hands. This is causing a bit of consternation.
Additionally, Boy Twin has discovered his feet, but believes them to be other-worldly tentacles. On a related note, he has tried to eat his own socks, creating a sanitation issue.
Please advise as to how you would like these research requests handled.